Thursday, December 17, 2009

Swimmers Thoughts

A few thoughts from Dec 24th practice!

THE FIRST 50 YARDS

Denial: The water isn’t as cold as yesterday!

Anger: If I violently spin my arms as fast as I can, it won’t be as cold as yesterday!

Bargaining: Maybe the jets are pumping warm water. I’ll go check.

Depression: If I lay motionless, maybe I’ll get out of practice.

Acceptance: It’s just as cold.


YOUR COACH'S GOOD MOOD

Denial: He’s going to give us an easy practice! He’s happy!

Anger: He’s happier when we’re sadder. Another hard practice today. He’s a masochist. I hate him.

Bargaining: What if I go a best time off the blocks? Right now? Best time ever? Can we get out?

Depression: If I lay motionless, he won’t be happy anymore.

Acceptance: He’s just naturally happy. The jerk.


30 x 1000's FREESTYLE


Denial: Ha! What a joker! Such a sense of humor my coach has!

Anger: (Expletive.)

Bargaining: Please, someone, please, let there be a blizzard, an earthquake, a UFO (unidentified floating object). Anything. Please.

Depression: What’s wrong with me? Why did I choose this sport?

Acceptance: Vendt did it.


CHRISTMAS EVE MORNING PRACTICE


Denial: Toughness comes with sacrifice. This will make me better.

Anger: Seriously? Christmas morning? Is there any justice in the world? Aren’t there laws against this? Is this a felony?

Bargaining: $500. I’ll pay you. Let me go home.

Depression: “How was your Christmas?” “I threw up. How was yours?”

Acceptance: I’ll just TP my coach’s house tomorrow.

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